spills ≠ messes.

Oh the spills that occur in a coffee shop!
I spill syrup, milk, espresso, & eggs, egks, ekxgs, ex, x.
Constantly.
Not to mention the spills customers make.. even more often than mine.

My kid nearly died in the hospital.
I know somebody's in charge of this place, I just don't think it's God.
Stood up again.
I won the battle with drugs.
... that's the year we got divorced.
Going through a divorce.
Divorce, divorce, divorce.

I know how to clean up the spills I make while on the job.
I hope that somebody handles the spills the customers make. Cause those run way deep.

Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits -- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. Psalm 103:1-6

Praise the Lord who heals.
Glad I can trust Jesus to take care of these people. Maybe he will ask me to help.

making room for dessert.

My heart is so full right now!

it is a good thing
happy. sad. smile.
concern. hope. trust.

I love that Jesus loves us and that no matter; he knows us and he pursues us.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
John 13:34

“I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Luke 12:4-7

my cat.

So as you should know, I will be that crazy cat lady when I grow up. Shoot, I may already be that crazy cat lady.. oh well :)

Name: Penelope
Nicknames: Penny, Penne, Penalope, Pennyface, Love, and most often "Cat"
Age: 548 days
Ways in which she is like a dog:
1. She follows me everywhere.
2. She comes when called.
3. She loves her tummy rubbed.
4. She chews stuff; my socks & cardboard included.
Ways in which she is NOT like a dog:
1. She is awesome.

family.

Probably not the application point he intended me to take away from this post; but I took it anyway!

I have friends all over the place -- Mexico, Medford, Waco, Seattle, Monterrey, Bakersfield, California Coast -- so wherever I go, I have family.

this is who i is.

I follow a blog by a woman named Bianca.. she is spunky & in love with Jesus. A while back she wrote this and I wanted to write one too ... however it just wasn't working. Today I was encouraged to be who I is and came up with the following:

I thrive off awkward moments.
I am bad at goodbyes.
I cry a lot.
I enjoy people.
I am an introvert.
I often laugh, especially when i feel nervous.
And I understand the gift of a smile.
I do not love as much as I can, but I am learning to try a lot more.
My family loves me and this is a new found comfort.
I love God and the woman he is making me to be.
I have no idea how God can shape up this ridiculous mess of a person, but I know that He does. Daily.
Patience is rough.
Honesty is beautiful.

And I'll ask you the same question;
in a hundred words or so, who are you?

Galatians 5:22.23.

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!" -- Galatians 5.22.23.

If we have the Holy Spirit in us; we have these things in us!! Don’t keep the fruit of Holy Spirit stifled! It is already there, let it be.

Day Two

The orange peels were alright.. until the lost their pazaz, however, the squirt bottle seems to be doing the trick!! I foresee myself refilling the tree water often, considering Cat thinks it is also her's.

Is a cat bothered by water, if they are drinking water?!

Day One

I have never before had a cat and a Christmas Tree at the same time.
I anticipate much entertainment :)

this is my life:

Car, cards, stamps, coloring, boxes, books, moving, painting, family, friends, visiting, weddings, getting stuff to goodwill, returning borrowed items to their rightful owners, untangling lights from trees, sifting through what is mine vs. what is my roommates, getting the car to the shop.. life is busy!!

But life if fun, and God is good.. making everything worth while :)

The San Fran Adventure

experienced by Bree & Carrie ; on October 3, 2010

So 2 weeks ago Carrie and I were having crappy weeks. Well we decided that we needed to ditch town for a weekend; get away from the normal. So we took off to San Francisco. My sister has a friend who currently resides in Berkeley and she let us stay at her place Saturday night. Sunday morning we woke up, and with minimal plans (coffee, eat fish & chips, walk across the Golden Gate Bridge, and scarf down a Ghirardelli’s Sundae… all in no particular order) and set off for San Francisco!

         
          We had arrived early, the rain from the night before still soaking the ground, the sun out, and us…. driving :) We parked near fisherman’s Wharf and started walking towards the bridge (Mind you! We hadn’t realized that the bridge was about 4 miles from Fisherman’s wharf!!)

Anyways! We went for it without knowing. We stopped at a coffee shop and gathered our energies…. and three hours later we had made it to the Golden Gate Bridge!! We ascended the steps and began the walk across, stopping every so often to look out across the bay.

It was windy and sunny; my light sweater was just enough to keep the chill off, but not enough to keep me from wanting something thicker. But despite the cold, we kept on!

About a third of the way through Carrie grabs my arm and a look of worry overcomes her; “Bree. I think that man just tried to jump off the side.” I am thrown off by the statement and only slightly concerned; but by the time I look at the man in question, his suspicious behavior had ceased. Not really sure what she had see; we kept on our walk. However, neither of us could really feel at peace about the conversation that had just happened.

We stop again and this time I looked back, watching this man. I pay close attention to his body language the best I can; I’m about 40 yards away. I notice he seems very anxious. He's near a lamppost and in his arms he tightly clutching his jacket; winding it around and around in his arms he peers back and forth with darting glances, then stops abruptly. Foot taping with the speed of a freight train, he pulls what I imagine to be a wedding band off his left hand and thrusts it into his jacket bundle.

My stomach drops to my toes and sickness overcomes my entire body. With my heart racing I realize that what Carrie had assumed, was in fact truth. This man wanted to end his life by jumping off the bridge and we were going to witness the whole thing.

In a state of sheer panic, Carrie and I agree to act. We rush over to the man and without words we stand near him. Just stand. His actions are still very spastic and distracted. I assume he notices us because he takes off in a speed walk towards the other end of the bridge. We follow. He pauses again at another lamppost and it is then that I realize that we are the answer to our pleas to God for this man. We are the ones who are going to stop and talk with him.

We stop on the other side of the lamppost and I bombard him with a frantic rush of words:

“Hi!! Hi, how are you?!”

Fine..??!

“Oh! Good. So are you from around here!?”

Uh... yea.

(He is still very distracted and so I blabber on with the hope of keeping him in our presence. After asking questions about the weather and where he lives; then assuring him that we were not lost, nor did we need directions; I saw that he held the understanding that we knew something was up… he was listening, so I go for it.)

“So, um. I know this is gonna sound weird. But I just really felt that I should let you know that you are loved by God. I apologize if you.. if this feels awkward. I don’t normally talk to people like this. It’s just that… I mean… we were just walking on the bridge… and .. and we saw you… and I mean.. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT?!! …….. (silence, blank stare; lasts about the longest one second of my life)… Okay, I’m sorry. Okay, we can go. I mean… I don’t wanna bother you, we were just walking an....”

(He interrupts me, and very calmly he asks us “if we were there because of why he thought we were there”).

Me, completely frazzled and confused, I declare that I have no idea what I am doing there and ask him what he assumes.

Well; do you think I’m going to jump?

(Silence. He continues on.)

Cause I was considering it. I mean, I can’t bring myself to do it.. but I was considering it.

He then proceeds to spill to us EVERYTHING. Fifteen minutes later he shakes his shoulders out, and unwraps his jacket bundle. Puts his ring back on. His belt back on. He puts his wallet back into his pocket. He puts his hat, glasses, and jacket back on and invites us to walk with him.

It turns out that he lives three blocks from where we parked (those four miles away!!) and he had also walked to the bridge that day. For 3 ½ hours, Carrie and I lived life with a man who had intended on being dead. We laughed; and we were serious, all the while bumping elbows as we walked the stretch of path along the San Francisco Bay. Carrie was able to relate to him in an incredible way! He kept asking question! My favorite being; “But you look like you are doing fine. You’ve been through all that and you look great. How?! How is that?”

We were invited to share God’s hope. We were able to listen; and to laugh.

We were able to allow God to be there to affirm a man who had not let a word about his sufferings land on the ears of anyone in 20+ years. He experienced freedom.

Aside from his story, his name is all I have of his.

I don’t know where he is now; but I do know that God loves him. God loves him enough to send us from Fresno to walk him home.

He knows that too.

I don’t know where he is going; but I do know that he is seeking to reconcile with a friend and maybe even check himself into a place to get help.

God loves him.

I love him.

Carrie loves him.

And I think he might even be starting to love himself.

God can use our uncertainties, our lack of eloquence, and our willingness, to do great things.

It still feels like this was just a really good movie I saw recently, rather than me witnessing God changing a life.

Windows Open!

Now I'm not talking your typical ... windows open. I'm talking windows open, screens off!
Why haven't I thought of this before!!? There is something freeing about opening your window and having the branches flow right on in with the breeze. Now sure, the night brings with it creepy crawlies.. but I'm not worried about that right now, it's noon! I'm just excited that Penelope can be in 2 places at once. She sits on the ledge outside, then snuggles up right next to my leg. I think she likes the freedom as well!
Anyways, autumn is here. The rains have fallen. And I am excited for the change in season.
WELCOME! BIENVENUE!! VALKOMMEN!!!

Awk! Ward!!

So basically if anybody were to ask me if I'd recommend listening to God when he talks, the answer would be yes.
Yes!!
I mean, he can definitely be a tricky voice to place. Often times you may think it's just your own thoughts, or paranoia, or perhaps it's just wishful thinking. But what if it's not those.. what if it really is the voice of God? What if he really is just telling you to compliment that random stranger, or even say a simple hello?
I'd say, "try it out."
It may be awkward.
Actually the chances of any encounter you have that is led by God will be extremely awkward! But, the odds are that if God really did talk to you, he'll keep leading... he'll keep leading you straight on through that awkwardness... and if it wasn't him; well then hey, we can all use a little more awkward in our life!
Plus... I'd be willing to guess he honors your faithfulness. Even if 'it' wasn't Spirit led, when you work according to God's goodness, I think he smiles at you.

It feels like Saturday!

No alarm clock this morning.. God woke me up. And just in time for work.. I got there in a record 9 minutes, and was only 4 minutes late!! On the way I was given the gift of the sunrise in my rear view mirror. And peace set in.

For lunch: a visit with a friend, free food, & a lollipop while rocking in a chair.

The rest of the afternoon will consist of relaxation and creating.. I’m thinking an address book.

I feel that I have needed this Saturday for a while now. Praise God!

Six Days!

Less than one week away & the excitement is building!
On one hand, I am hesitant cause the friendships I have with a few close friends will begin to look different.
Two of them to be married.
Another, moving north.
But on the other hand, I am thrilled out of my brain and so excited to see how God is going to keep leading their lives!
My head knows that friend is moving out to live with a boy.
And my head knows that friend who was once so close will no longer be right there to laugh with and play Chess with.
My head also knows that getting a hold of each other for last minute, late night, games of Disk Golf will happen less often.
But my heart is okay.
The way it was was awesome and the adventures were grand.
And
….
The memories are sweet but the future is bright; for all of us.
I am looking forward to that light!

Roommate Chronicals: Volume I, Issue I

The other night, or morning rather, I was awakened by Cat knocking my pencil jar to the floor so that she could have room to sprawl out on my desk. For whatever reason, I felt compelled to clean up the displaced pencils at that moment.
I drag myself from my bed, gently scold Cat, and then I hear a exasperated voice, “I just want to sleep on a couch cushion. That’s all I want..!”
Smile
My roomie was sleep talking again.. and her bed is perty comfty. I don’t know why she wants a couch cushion instead??!

Fourteen Days

Two weeks from now holds bitter sweet feelings for me.

On one hand, I am stoked cause the lives of a few close friends will be changed in amazing ways!!

Two of them to be married.

Another will be moving north to live life.

On the other hand, the selfish hand, change is hard.

My head knows that God is going to be with them and that the adventures he has ahead for each of them is going to be spectacular! But my heart is slow to catch on, & currently, I just feel that am going to miss the way it was, and the adventures we had.

The memories are sweet though.

I’m just bad at keeping up with friends.

I’m even worse at goodbyes.

….

Don’t mind me; it's just one of those sentimental moods.

Be Healthy

The best thing a person can do for others is to first make sure that they themselves are wholly healthy.

People choose to be angry.

People are responsible for their own emotions.

In those moments it is my job, not to make them better, but instead illustrate how I trust God.

Yes, I may have to say no to others, I may have to draw the line and refuse to help someone. But taking care of people is not my job.

Loving God is my job, and if taking care of people is a byproduct of that love.

Then praise the Lord!

Until I can love God, I can’t love people.

But I know that that love for God will produce a health that is overflowing.

"You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”

Matthew 7:5

Beauty!

I feel that we have been convinced into the belief that beauty can be categorized either one, of two ways; outer beauty or inner beauty.
In a person, outer beauty is determined by the way someone looks; flawless skin, dazzling eyes, etc.
And inner beauty is determined by a person’s character; someone who is kind, who is selfless, who saves puppies.
But I’m convinced that that’s not all there is to beauty.
See here; I would definitely say that a river has beauty. But why, I mean it’s murky, slimy, and when you are in it you try with all your might to just not touch the bottom. It can move dangerously fast in certain places, and annoyingly slow in others. So why do we claim it to be beautiful?
It doesn’t have outer beauty, and it doesn’t really have inner beauty; at least how they are commonly defined.
Well, beauty invites.
A river invites.
It allows fish to make their home in it, plants and other wildlife are fed through it, and people are invited to rest near it. The sound is soothing. The feeling is cool.
Yet all a river does is exist. It does what it is meant to do and because of this, it is beautiful.

We all have this picture in our minds of an old scraggly looking woman, yet somehow she is called beautiful. She is wrinkly, time has left her blind in one eye, and the whiskers on her chin poke you when she hugs you. But she hugged you.
She invited you into her home, she fed you. She counseled you and allowed your tears to flow onto her blouse. In her arms you found healing. In her laughter you experienced joy.
She lives, she exists in the best way she can, and she invites you to be yourself in her presence. Because of this she is beautiful. Beauty invites!

--------------------------------------------------------------

“A woman who is striving invites others to strive.
A woman who is hiding invites others to hide.
A woman who is at rest invites others to rest.
But a woman who is beautiful is inviting others to life.”
- Captivating by John & Staci Eldredge

Lights, Camera, Action .. . Well Sorta!

I have movies that I want to see.
These are a few of them.
I don't want to forget that I want to see them.
So I made a list:

The Boys Are Back
The Book Of Eli
Count of Monte Cristo
Creation
Date Night
Dear John
Despicable Me
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part I
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part II
Inception
Letters To Juliet
Prince of Persia
Salt
Surrogates
Toy Story 3
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

A Lesson Learned In Listening!

Ok. So it was day 4 or so at OGN and we were given a mission. Find these nine envelopes, they are filled with money and hidden around the building. You have 10 minutes, ready go! So I get up and I’m looking around yet see nothing. Keep looking, looking; about five minutes into it I see that five envelopes have been found. I run into a friend and express how I am really bad at this game; he holds up an envelope and declares that he is actually quite good.

Ah dang!! All I want is to find a stinkin’ envelope! So I tell God; ya know what God. I’m really bad at this game, but I sure would like an envelope & if You could just show me where one is then that would be great. I close my eyes for a few seconds and all I see is a toilet seat.. Really, that’s just disgusting.

Discouraged I head back inside the auditorium. After everyone gets back they count up the envelopes. They are one short, they find out it is number nine and the game coordinators just start laughing. A guy in the crowd asks where it is and all that they answer with is, you are the wrong gender.

This guy books it to the bathroom and comes back with the last envelope.

I am shocked; and then I hear it. God is laughing. Bree, you asked me to show you & I did. Next time you ask, don’t go on thinking it’s just you cause here’s the thing … although you are good, your not THAT clever.

I love you you Love. Just listen to me when I answer you, because it is quite often.

Oheythanks!!

.smiley face.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness stands between a person and their healing. But once you can forgive, you are inviting healing to step in and allow separation between you and the party that hurt you. You are not allowing them to continue the hold they once had over your emotions. You are freeing yourself from them and allowing healing, freedom, and independence from said party.

When you forgive it also allows the other person the opportunity to learn and move on. They may or may not change for the better; but you forgiving them is you giving them permission to become better. You are letting go, you are saying “I will not hold this against you. No, I won’t let you do it again, but I will not define you by it either. Go live.”

Agree? Disagree? Other?!

I liked it!

I liked the part when Mary called Sarah & asked us to let her into the house cause she had locked herself out and she was wearing slippers.
Did I mention it was hailing?!

I liked the part where we decided to wait out the hail so we wouldn’t get too wet.

I liked the part where Sarah & I ran outside to the car and were soaked from head to toe anyways after being in the rain for just 4 seconds.

I liked the part when we received a phone call from Mary right after we got in the car, letting us know that another roommate had just arrived home and she had gotten in the house.

I especially liked the part when we laughed a lot about all this.

Thoughts, Part II

A while back I had some thoughts related to this piece and I have some more; just as I promised I would!

Nelson Mandela
*************
Our deepest fear is not that we are
inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small
doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won t feel insecure
around you.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission
to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Let’s open this one up again.

So Sister and I were watching some Parkour videos earlier today and were greatly intrigued. These people climb the sides of walls, they jump off roofs, they leap great distances. Quite often we find ourselves calling these people extraordinary.

I would love to be able to do what they do. But then I go to thinking about what that would take:

- I’d have to get into shape

- I’d have to eat better

- Basically I’d have to change a lot about the way that I live and become self- disciplined.

But I have a question: What if those people who do that Parkour stuff are living life the way God intended. What if they are using their bodies to the fullness of human potential?

What if God intended all of us to have the ability to jump out of trees, and soar from rooftops?

I’m starting to think he did.

Set that aside.

After mulling it over, I came to a few conclusions about who I see myself to be:

- I want to love the Lord with all I have; but often times I think too much and that keeps me from acting.

- I love people and care deeply for many; but I fear rejection and therefore I say nothing.

- I have incredible hand-eye coordination, I am a very quick learner, and I am a decent challenge when it comes to logic/strategy games; but I fear being a threat to others so I often hold back.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Yes. I am afraid that I will be ‘extra ordinary’. I fear that people will notice me. As much as I want to follow the Lord, I am afraid that if I do, I will reach my full potential.

However, I must admit that it’s not my full potential alone that scares me. What scares me is that if I reach that point where people are watching, or I am better at something; I won’t know how to react. I won’t know how to remain humble and loving.

It’s so much easier to hide in the shadows, than it is to step out and take a compliment, or encourage others as I ‘succeed’ where they ‘fail’.

You are a child of God.
Your playing small
doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won t feel insecure
around you.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.

God created each and every one of us. We were created to glorify him.

If he made us to jump off buildings and land without a scratch, we should trust that he is going to keep us safe.

If he made us to create music and share it with others, we should trust that he is going to turn the praise to himself and not let it remain on us.

And if he made us to have a full heart so that we may love others, we should trust that he is going to give us words of encouragement, as well as the means to handle every situation that comes our way.

We hear that everyone fails and that we should not let a fear of failure hold us back. I’m not afraid of failure, cause I know everyone fails.

But I am afraid of success.

However, I need to remember that everyone was made with a great purpose in mind. Not just me.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission
to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

It’s a matter of embracing our passions and desires, because as long as we are following the Lord, those passions are the desires of the heart of God.

They are good, and the Lord of all things will empower us as we let him.

2 Timothy 1:7 -- God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

Today

Today was a beautiful day!

Community to the max!

Blessings in abundance!

Love!

I’m glad you were all a part of it!

1 Corinthians 13

Love is a choice.

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy, love does not boast, love is not proud. Love is not rude, love is not self-seeking, love is not easily angered, love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil. Love rejoices with the truth. Love always protects. Love always trusts. Love always hopes. Love always perseveres. Love never fails.

God is love.

If we choose God, it is then we can love.

It is then we are patient. It is then we are kind. It is then that we can celebrate the victories of others; then we are modest, then that we embrace humility. It is then, after we choose God that we desire what he desires; being respectful, showing selflessness, it is then that we experience true peace. Previous to choosing God, we may have had the opportunities to forgive, but without God it is all little more than a good idea. He is the bringer of all things good. After we turn towards our maker, and only then, are we fully capable of hating evil and embracing the great truth of the Lord. Because God is love. And love always protects, always trusts, and always gives hope. Love perseveres. God perseveres. God pursues.

God pursues and never fails.

Love never fails. God never fails.

no title

as I sit here and I close my eyes.

I see it all so clear.

I see you and I can feel your smile, it’s for me.

all around us there is so much chaos

so much noise.

it’s dark.

but as I focus in on you

I can feel you

I am comforted

I settle in to you

and I can’t help but reciprocate that smile

I haven’t felt this joy in months

I open my eyes and am reminded of the pressing dark

I feel the chaos

but you are so bright that I am blinded by your hope

currently that’s all I can see

but still I hesitate

how long will this last?

with a deep sigh I realize something

it doesn’t matter

right now, I am here with you

and it’s here that I will rest

I will rest in you

you pursue me