ok, so i have thought about this on and off, never for too long. i have also come up with some answers, but i have forgotten them at the moment and have decided to ask for suggestions (in the hope that it will help me to remember)!!
so here is the thing: i often find myself in a situation where i want to tell the other person good luck (like say mary jean has an exam today and its gonna be tough. "good luck on your exam mary jean!" would be my usual cry. but it is mainly due to lack of something else to say.
so basically my question is this. what else is there besides "good luck" . . . .
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
in the spirit of thanks-es
so im no good with my words right now. but i feel compelled to write. thanking you.
friends, thank you. thank you for you. thanks for just being. thanks for loving me and letting me love you. thanks for well wishes on my birthday. thanks for planning. thank you for stuffing yourself into a crowded hallway, for way too long, waiting to surprise me. thank you for listening to me while i ramble on. thanks for sitting in silence with me while we pondered this'n'that. thanks for the talks. i love the laughs and i love the adventures. so yes, this doesnt even cover it all. but i believe it will suffice for now.
friends, thank you. thank you for you. thanks for just being. thanks for loving me and letting me love you. thanks for well wishes on my birthday. thanks for planning. thank you for stuffing yourself into a crowded hallway, for way too long, waiting to surprise me. thank you for listening to me while i ramble on. thanks for sitting in silence with me while we pondered this'n'that. thanks for the talks. i love the laughs and i love the adventures. so yes, this doesnt even cover it all. but i believe it will suffice for now.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
My Prayer
Dear God,
Everyday is a battle. I realize that now, this morning.
Father, I pray now for strength in You. Knowing that the enemy may well attack, but God, I choose to let you lead me into battle. I will prayerfully enter today, constantly recognizing that although I am terribly weak, You are strong. I trust You.
Father, I pray now for encouragement from (and in) You. Knowing that the enemy is wise in his ways of deciet. But God, You are so much bigger than he. I look to You for my worth, and I accept Your love for me. I trust You.
God. I also ask for purpose. Today, reveal to me what it is you would have me do. I want to act, in love, for You. My purpose here on earth is to glorify You and grow Your Kingdom. Lead me into that. I trust You.
God, I trust the ways you want to use me and I trust I am not alone. I pray against feelings of inadequacy, any failure in temptations, and a contentment in mediocracy. I ask that You to teach me to rest in You. Instill in me a confidence of who I am in You. Lead me to You in all things that together we will conquer the flesh. And build in me the desire to fully embrace Your vision as well as Your drive to accomplish it. I pray for peace, but I pray for me to be used in this battle as well.
Sensitize my sense to You, that I hear and respond to Your calls. Grow me today, do not let me be unchanged in You.
Today I live for You Father. I ask all this is the mighty name of Your Son Jesus Christ!
Thank You,
Breana there's Hope
Everyday is a battle. I realize that now, this morning.
Father, I pray now for strength in You. Knowing that the enemy may well attack, but God, I choose to let you lead me into battle. I will prayerfully enter today, constantly recognizing that although I am terribly weak, You are strong. I trust You.
Father, I pray now for encouragement from (and in) You. Knowing that the enemy is wise in his ways of deciet. But God, You are so much bigger than he. I look to You for my worth, and I accept Your love for me. I trust You.
God. I also ask for purpose. Today, reveal to me what it is you would have me do. I want to act, in love, for You. My purpose here on earth is to glorify You and grow Your Kingdom. Lead me into that. I trust You.
God, I trust the ways you want to use me and I trust I am not alone. I pray against feelings of inadequacy, any failure in temptations, and a contentment in mediocracy. I ask that You to teach me to rest in You. Instill in me a confidence of who I am in You. Lead me to You in all things that together we will conquer the flesh. And build in me the desire to fully embrace Your vision as well as Your drive to accomplish it. I pray for peace, but I pray for me to be used in this battle as well.
Sensitize my sense to You, that I hear and respond to Your calls. Grow me today, do not let me be unchanged in You.
Today I live for You Father. I ask all this is the mighty name of Your Son Jesus Christ!
Thank You,
Breana there's Hope
Monday, November 24, 2008
im realizing
things arent as complicated as i make them to be.
i am truly loved by god.
i will fail in life, not at life.
as chaotic as life seems, god is in control. really.
i can join in what god is already doing.
god has a plan.
i love god.
oh to trust
i am truly loved by god.
i will fail in life, not at life.
as chaotic as life seems, god is in control. really.
i can join in what god is already doing.
god has a plan.
i love god.
oh to trust
anxious
so, im not often anxious. but this past week or so, i think this has actually been the case. not really sure what is going on. ive got the feeling of change that is so good. this knowledge that god is moving and he is inviting me to join. but then, there is this tiny desire to latch on to what is familiar. this long forgotten desire to be lazy, to be passive, to just let life happen without me.
here is one thing, god doesnt need me. god doesnt have to use me. i dont need to be the one to pray for students. he doesnt need me to talk to my dad and be a friend. anybody else can clothe the naked and feed the hungry. house the traveler and love.
but here is the thing. despite the fact that i am not needed, and i am not the only one. despite the fact that there are billions of other people in this world and about half of them could probably do my life much better than me. god has chosen me. he has decided to trust me, little me, with this life.
im not needed, but i am wanted. god wants me to live. he wants me to pray. he desires that i be a friend to my dad. anybody else can do all that, but i am asked, invited into his work. to clothe the naked and feed the hungry. he has offered to me the opportunity to house the traveler and to love. he has given me passions for these.
so because i have been invited to such a spectacular life, i want to accept. i will accept. i have accepted. i praise god for his interest in me. for his interest in all that is happening in this life. i will not give in to those long forgotten desires. not only are they forgotten, but they are overcome. they have been banished in the name of christ. instead i will live. i will live in the truth that i can persevere and love. that i can take joy in my creator.
i know what i want to be a part of. i am learning how to do this. i am learning how to get connected and how to be active. i dont just want to have a good idea of what i want for my life. but currently that is all that it feels like. an idea. and that is probably all that it is. i realize that the more i pray, the more that idea i have grows. the more confidence i have in my abilities. the more i trust that god is leading.
and duh! of course that is true! i mean, prayer; its how i communicate with my creator, my lead, my god. really now!? i must quit realizing (ok, well actually i musnt quit. but ive gotta quit stopping after the realizations) and ive gotta keep going, start acting. ive gotta hear the game plan. then ive gotta go. trust god.
remember, he doesnt need us, yet he has chosen to use us. that means hes got things figured out. its all a matter of who is ready to move. am i ready to move? am i ready to go beyond realizing what needs to be done and continue into doing? into living.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
ok, so im not anxious. just knowing that god is moving. knowing that god is growing us as a community. its exciting, but it is also the realization that things will change. not god, but us. and the thing is, 2 weeks ago, i was comfortable. and recognizing that god wants to change me, well that made me uncomfortable. but i will trust, cause i know that even though i feel "this/now" is good, whatever god has planned for us is so much better.
so friends. join me in prayer. for life. for the ways that god has invited us to action in this city. on our campuses. each person has an invitation. our path may be a little different than our neighbors, and our tasks a bit different too. but we are all working to strengthen the same kingdom. we need encouragement. i need encouragement.
lets not just sit here and let life happen. lets join hands, and with our father, lets answer the call. together.
lets pray.
lets act.
cause when all is said and done, ideas were never really that good if thats all they remained.
here is one thing, god doesnt need me. god doesnt have to use me. i dont need to be the one to pray for students. he doesnt need me to talk to my dad and be a friend. anybody else can clothe the naked and feed the hungry. house the traveler and love.
but here is the thing. despite the fact that i am not needed, and i am not the only one. despite the fact that there are billions of other people in this world and about half of them could probably do my life much better than me. god has chosen me. he has decided to trust me, little me, with this life.
im not needed, but i am wanted. god wants me to live. he wants me to pray. he desires that i be a friend to my dad. anybody else can do all that, but i am asked, invited into his work. to clothe the naked and feed the hungry. he has offered to me the opportunity to house the traveler and to love. he has given me passions for these.
so because i have been invited to such a spectacular life, i want to accept. i will accept. i have accepted. i praise god for his interest in me. for his interest in all that is happening in this life. i will not give in to those long forgotten desires. not only are they forgotten, but they are overcome. they have been banished in the name of christ. instead i will live. i will live in the truth that i can persevere and love. that i can take joy in my creator.
i know what i want to be a part of. i am learning how to do this. i am learning how to get connected and how to be active. i dont just want to have a good idea of what i want for my life. but currently that is all that it feels like. an idea. and that is probably all that it is. i realize that the more i pray, the more that idea i have grows. the more confidence i have in my abilities. the more i trust that god is leading.
and duh! of course that is true! i mean, prayer; its how i communicate with my creator, my lead, my god. really now!? i must quit realizing (ok, well actually i musnt quit. but ive gotta quit stopping after the realizations) and ive gotta keep going, start acting. ive gotta hear the game plan. then ive gotta go. trust god.
remember, he doesnt need us, yet he has chosen to use us. that means hes got things figured out. its all a matter of who is ready to move. am i ready to move? am i ready to go beyond realizing what needs to be done and continue into doing? into living.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
ok, so im not anxious. just knowing that god is moving. knowing that god is growing us as a community. its exciting, but it is also the realization that things will change. not god, but us. and the thing is, 2 weeks ago, i was comfortable. and recognizing that god wants to change me, well that made me uncomfortable. but i will trust, cause i know that even though i feel "this/now" is good, whatever god has planned for us is so much better.
so friends. join me in prayer. for life. for the ways that god has invited us to action in this city. on our campuses. each person has an invitation. our path may be a little different than our neighbors, and our tasks a bit different too. but we are all working to strengthen the same kingdom. we need encouragement. i need encouragement.
lets not just sit here and let life happen. lets join hands, and with our father, lets answer the call. together.
lets pray.
lets act.
cause when all is said and done, ideas were never really that good if thats all they remained.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Surfboard Story
Ok well, last weekend Daniel and I decided that we wanted to go to Santa Barbara; surfing and visiting Alana; what could be better?! So we make plans. Daniel brings over 2 surf boards Thursday night and plans on bringing his board over in the morning before class.
So on Friday early in the morning I leave and meet with Ataloa for coffee (which neither of us drank (yay for tea!!) anyways..). Meanwhile Daniel is getting his stuff packed and bringing his board over.
Problem: he didn’t strap the board down. Ah dang!! He didn’t hear it fly off or see anything and realizes it only when he gets to my house.
Frustrated he retraces his steps, looking in the gutters, on sidewalks, and throughout his apartment complex. Nothing. People haven’t seen anything and there seems to be no hope.
He finally gets a hold of me and expresses disappointment, telling me what had happened.
I respond with an “okay”. Knowing that I have no words of sympathy. In knowing we are powerless in our current circumstance, we hand it over to God in prayer.
We end the call and I start heading back to town (it is about 11 o’clock now and I have finished chatting it up with Ataloa) I get it in me to look for the board. Mind you, I only have a slight idea of where Daniel lives, near Blackbeards. So I head over, retracing the path I could only assume Daniel might have taken. I see nothing.
Well, basically I wanna give up (I still haven’t packed and we are still planning to leave in like 40 minutes). However, I instead tell God that if he wants us to find this surf board, then he should do it now. I look a few more minutes then head back home. Coming to an intersection I realize that I can still make a u-turn. I do it, ending up in an apartment complex. I have no idea if this is where Daniel lives and I don’t know what I am doing. I drive around and get the feeling that I am supposed to make a right turn. I ignore that and continue on, straight ahead. Coming to the end of the road I turn around. I am still aware that I never made that right turn. So I go back, I turn in and see two homeless people near a dumpster on my left. I role down my window and this is the conversation that follows:
Me: Hi, so I have a really random question. Have you seen a surf board around here?
Nathan: Uhh… a surfboard?! Like for the ocean?! A surfboard ….. in Fresno?!
Me: Ya, I know! (I then proceed to explain Daniel’s story and why I even have this question).
Nathan: (More sensitive to the subject now) Well okay, I dunno; but what if I were to find this surf board, how would I get a hold of you?!
Me: Here is my number… thank you so much! …. Oh! Hey, is there anything I could do to help you?!
Nathan: Well do you have a million dollars?! (in jest).
Me: Ha! No, but I do have $5!
Nathan: Wow! Ya I’ll take it, I’ll take any help I can get!
Me: Well here you go, thank you a lot!!
Well at this point I need to head home to start packing. Daniel is gonna get outta class at any minute and I’m no where near ready. I get home and tell Promise that bad news. We discuss it a few minutes and come to the conclusion that even if we were to find his board, it is probably shattered. I mean how can a surfboard fall off a car onto the road and not break into a million pieces!?
So I get back to packing and I’m about half done when my phone starts to ring. It is a number I don’t know. I answer it:
Nathan: So you are not gonna believe this, but I just found your friend’s surfboard!!
Me: What!? Now way! Praise God!! (and much other exciting phrases) Ok, well where are you?
Nathan: Ashlan & Peach. We are by the Chevron! I can’t believe this, can you come now?
Me: Yea, well, we can be there within a half hour!!
Nathan: Ok, see you soon!! Wow!
When I get off the phone I am basically stoked out of my mind. I try to tell Promise what had just happened, but no words would come! Eventually I gathered my emotions enough to tell her the excitement.
Immediately following the story’s end Daniel arrives home. I am super stoked and getting a look of confusion from him (he still has no idea). After babbling I motion for him to come inside and relay the amazing find to him. He is basically shocked into silence (which was actually quite amusing for me!)
Well, all three of us abandon whatever we were doing and head over to Chevron as fast as we could. It seemed like the drive took forever, but we continued to express our excitement and the obviousness that God had planned it all out.
When we drive into the parking lot we are greeted by Nathan flagging us down with his arms and we hustle through the introductions. We just wanted to hear Nathan’s side of the story!!
” So after meeting you, we finished up collecting stuff at the apartment complex, and began heading home. Suddenly we realized that we didn’t have to haul all our stuff to the Savemart, but instead could just take it to the Winco right here. So we turn around and on the way over I look over and see something in the bushes. Behind the bus stop bench I look closely and see a surfboard!! In shock we got a hold of you and look!! It’s not even broken. Just this here at the tail, but its totally fine!”
After expressing our amazement (again!) we learned that they (the woman’s name is Velvet) live right next to our church. We chatted a little. Found out they are living near our church! Daniel was able to give contact information to Nathan, so that was good!!
But really that was just amazing! How can God orchestrate such an awesome experience!?
So on Friday early in the morning I leave and meet with Ataloa for coffee (which neither of us drank (yay for tea!!) anyways..). Meanwhile Daniel is getting his stuff packed and bringing his board over.
Problem: he didn’t strap the board down. Ah dang!! He didn’t hear it fly off or see anything and realizes it only when he gets to my house.
Frustrated he retraces his steps, looking in the gutters, on sidewalks, and throughout his apartment complex. Nothing. People haven’t seen anything and there seems to be no hope.
He finally gets a hold of me and expresses disappointment, telling me what had happened.
I respond with an “okay”. Knowing that I have no words of sympathy. In knowing we are powerless in our current circumstance, we hand it over to God in prayer.
We end the call and I start heading back to town (it is about 11 o’clock now and I have finished chatting it up with Ataloa) I get it in me to look for the board. Mind you, I only have a slight idea of where Daniel lives, near Blackbeards. So I head over, retracing the path I could only assume Daniel might have taken. I see nothing.
Well, basically I wanna give up (I still haven’t packed and we are still planning to leave in like 40 minutes). However, I instead tell God that if he wants us to find this surf board, then he should do it now. I look a few more minutes then head back home. Coming to an intersection I realize that I can still make a u-turn. I do it, ending up in an apartment complex. I have no idea if this is where Daniel lives and I don’t know what I am doing. I drive around and get the feeling that I am supposed to make a right turn. I ignore that and continue on, straight ahead. Coming to the end of the road I turn around. I am still aware that I never made that right turn. So I go back, I turn in and see two homeless people near a dumpster on my left. I role down my window and this is the conversation that follows:
Me: Hi, so I have a really random question. Have you seen a surf board around here?
Nathan: Uhh… a surfboard?! Like for the ocean?! A surfboard ….. in Fresno?!
Me: Ya, I know! (I then proceed to explain Daniel’s story and why I even have this question).
Nathan: (More sensitive to the subject now) Well okay, I dunno; but what if I were to find this surf board, how would I get a hold of you?!
Me: Here is my number… thank you so much! …. Oh! Hey, is there anything I could do to help you?!
Nathan: Well do you have a million dollars?! (in jest).
Me: Ha! No, but I do have $5!
Nathan: Wow! Ya I’ll take it, I’ll take any help I can get!
Me: Well here you go, thank you a lot!!
Well at this point I need to head home to start packing. Daniel is gonna get outta class at any minute and I’m no where near ready. I get home and tell Promise that bad news. We discuss it a few minutes and come to the conclusion that even if we were to find his board, it is probably shattered. I mean how can a surfboard fall off a car onto the road and not break into a million pieces!?
So I get back to packing and I’m about half done when my phone starts to ring. It is a number I don’t know. I answer it:
Nathan: So you are not gonna believe this, but I just found your friend’s surfboard!!
Me: What!? Now way! Praise God!! (and much other exciting phrases) Ok, well where are you?
Nathan: Ashlan & Peach. We are by the Chevron! I can’t believe this, can you come now?
Me: Yea, well, we can be there within a half hour!!
Nathan: Ok, see you soon!! Wow!
When I get off the phone I am basically stoked out of my mind. I try to tell Promise what had just happened, but no words would come! Eventually I gathered my emotions enough to tell her the excitement.
Immediately following the story’s end Daniel arrives home. I am super stoked and getting a look of confusion from him (he still has no idea). After babbling I motion for him to come inside and relay the amazing find to him. He is basically shocked into silence (which was actually quite amusing for me!)
Well, all three of us abandon whatever we were doing and head over to Chevron as fast as we could. It seemed like the drive took forever, but we continued to express our excitement and the obviousness that God had planned it all out.
When we drive into the parking lot we are greeted by Nathan flagging us down with his arms and we hustle through the introductions. We just wanted to hear Nathan’s side of the story!!
” So after meeting you, we finished up collecting stuff at the apartment complex, and began heading home. Suddenly we realized that we didn’t have to haul all our stuff to the Savemart, but instead could just take it to the Winco right here. So we turn around and on the way over I look over and see something in the bushes. Behind the bus stop bench I look closely and see a surfboard!! In shock we got a hold of you and look!! It’s not even broken. Just this here at the tail, but its totally fine!”
After expressing our amazement (again!) we learned that they (the woman’s name is Velvet) live right next to our church. We chatted a little. Found out they are living near our church! Daniel was able to give contact information to Nathan, so that was good!!
But really that was just amazing! How can God orchestrate such an awesome experience!?
Sunday, September 14, 2008
joyfilled!
so basically i just wanna praise god right now for the blessings he has poured out. exhibit a would be all of you, this amazing community of his people he has decided to build up right now, right here. so needed, so thankful!
yes! but right now, i am gonna go to sleep, but first i just wanna say that today was wonderful. i enjoyed every bit of it, and i am so glad that each of you were a part of it!
squished car rides. kilts. music. dance. food. sitting and relaxing. parks. amazing weather. dining table filled with those i love. spagetti. 7 cars in our driveway. singing. short road trips. unexpectedness. bands. fireworks. music and dance. road trips back home. adventures. super-cool taco bell hand dryers that save the planet. 11 cars on our property. friends. football. bikes. longboards. new friends.
joy. laughter. praise.
thank you lord for letting us experience all this in just one day! i am so excited for everything you have for me.... lets go =)
and happy birthday eric!!
yes! but right now, i am gonna go to sleep, but first i just wanna say that today was wonderful. i enjoyed every bit of it, and i am so glad that each of you were a part of it!
squished car rides. kilts. music. dance. food. sitting and relaxing. parks. amazing weather. dining table filled with those i love. spagetti. 7 cars in our driveway. singing. short road trips. unexpectedness. bands. fireworks. music and dance. road trips back home. adventures. super-cool taco bell hand dryers that save the planet. 11 cars on our property. friends. football. bikes. longboards. new friends.
joy. laughter. praise.
thank you lord for letting us experience all this in just one day! i am so excited for everything you have for me.... lets go =)
and happy birthday eric!!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
thinking out loud
so, i havent really just poured my thoughts out in typing before, but there can be a first time for everything. this is just me thinking out loud so to speak, so it makes sense to me (but that doesnt mean much)... anywho, lets go with this and see where it ends up . . . . im a sinner. but i have freedom cause God is overflowing with grace and decided that he wants to love me. i am so thankful for that. i know that i will always have crap in my life. just cause God is in me doesnt mean that my life gets easier, it just mean that i have success on my side, he is fighting for me, with me. yes, fighting cause there will always be a battle. the great part about it is, i know that he is going to win. often i get distracted. i take a detour from god, yet He seeks me out, reminding me of who He sees me as. who i am. i am running back to Him. but thats also why God provides community. we are not meant to do this thing alone, we are in it for the long haul, the whole body, all together. we are to be "joined and held together by every supporting member,in Christ, so that we can grow and build each other up in love, as each of us does our part". we will fail alone. we will fail without support. we will fail without God. sometimes it seems super confuseing, like what am i supposed to do, why cant God be more clear. im not sure if i have answers, but i know that ido have the word of God. He loves us a whole lot and wants us to live for Him, im learning how to do that, i will always be learning. i know that i am supposed to love and i know that i am supposed to be copying God. weird, yet it makes it seem a little easier i guess, knowing that he doesnt expect me to have a clue on how to be perfect. He knows that alone, i am no good. i screw up and am quick to follow what seems to be right, but often is not. in my imperfections he still reminds me that He loves me, therefore He has told me through His word, to just immitate him. He is the perfect one, I strive to be like Him, i am not Him. But i can copy him in his perfection, well at least i can try. so why not do just that. since his love is so big i cant contain it in myself alone. this in turn allows me to be filled completely, then overflow that love to other people. i will never empty of his love, only continuing to get more, so long as i overflow it to others. which is perty easy if i continue to seek his face. and as i seek him i will find him cause i will do it whole-heartedly. my desire is to be like christ. i want him and i want him in me all the time and i dont need anything else. he totally provides. always. i know that as i seek him i will grow. i will grow closer to him, i will know his will and be able to see the lies that are of satan. i will be able to decipher what is what, and know how to react. i will never be perfect. i wont be 100%, at least not here, not as long as i have this skin. but i will get 'better'. my struggles will become easier to rebuke, the untruths more quickly recognized. i am excited for that.for the journey, the growth. it is happeneing.God i just thank you. thank you for everything. i am totally undeserving, but i choose to accept the grace that you offer me. you will continue to offer it and i am so glad cause i need it. i need you.and by the way, why is it so easy to know what to do, but so hard to do it. i suppose its all a part of this whole i am human thing, ah dang!ephesians 4:15jeremiah 29:13james 5:162 timothy 1:7tony p asked the other nite "what if we acted in every good and pure thought that we had" ... .... think about it
Monday, February 25, 2008
my sweet work rap
collins in the kitchen
hannahs gone a fishin’
ok not really
im just bein’ silly
i wanna be cool
dont wanna be a fool
but im sure i aint rappin
jus sittin here clappin
im at work
my boss is too
the truth is i just wanna have something in my blog
so go sit on a log
or go for a jog
just dont kiss a frog
alright, im out
peace
hannahs gone a fishin’
ok not really
im just bein’ silly
i wanna be cool
dont wanna be a fool
but im sure i aint rappin
jus sittin here clappin
im at work
my boss is too
the truth is i just wanna have something in my blog
so go sit on a log
or go for a jog
just dont kiss a frog
alright, im out
peace
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