Let Love Flow

So when loving gets too hard, simply let Love love.

The idea that we try really hard to love [others, ourselves, God].
But the harder we try to love, the more difficult it becomes.
I think this is because we are focused too much on the outward motion of love.
But we have to be aware that if we are not first receiving the love God has for us, then we have nothing to give.

We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:19

When things get hard, people seem unlovable, and it feels that everything you put your mind to is a failure; take a step back and sit in the love God has for you.
It is here, & only here; with his love pouring through your soul, that you can rest.
You can feel love.
You can feel Love.
Then loving will come. Love for God, self, and others.

ramble ramble

Everyone has left.

Peace be with them.

I am story writing.

The dryer was the only noise

[aside from the taping of my fingers on the keys].

Not even that remains.

The silence is loud.

Funny how that is,

loud silence.

I mean, I guess it could make sense

but really, I think it’s mainly to do

with the fact that we are constantly

surrounded with things. With noise.

So to have NOthing

is just too much,

of too little.

I had workouts today.

We exercised love.

We are aren’t quite there yet,

but hey, practice makes.. better!

Repetition is a key.

.

the "up" soundtrack is so lively!
brian has loaned us his ping pong table,
thanks friend.
we have a comfty couch & a comfy chair,
thanks strong friends aaron & ben.
i am so sore from working out,
but i feel a bit more strong.
my dad & i have been talking,
it has been really peaceful.
lord you are good.
you hold us up,
you comfort us.
you rejoice with us,
you are our reason for rejoicing.
i love you,
and i will continue to let you love me.

----------

we watched blues clues today & it was such great fun!! promise noted that steve (i dunno if that is his real name, but either way!) started the show as a joke & carried it into reality
-- that really is how great ideas begin --
so yes! it was just fun to watch this guy (who was our age when he was on the show) just moving about on the screen having a gay ol' time!! i would love to be his friend! then i realized that any of our friends would probably do something like this if they were given the opportunity!!!
:)

on the bright side!

the bright side is all that matters :)

sometimes.

sometimes it doesn't matter how much exciting & good things are happening in my life.
if there is "just that one part" that isn't right, i feel like crap.
i know that it is not the good that i do that defines me.
but the bad stuff, no matter if its just one instance, seems to take over whenever it is present.
even if there is tons more good.
that sucks.
i feel like crap.
but in the back of my mind, i know that this will work out.
yea its hard, yea its probably gonna rip me apart.
no matter how out of control it seems, god is gonna pull through.
this is gonna hurt, but that is life i suppose.

on the bright side:
- god is big
- god is compassionate
- god teaches & stretches & grows us
- he leads & he loves

Thoughts, Part I

Inspired to write after talking this out a bit with Terri.
There is a lot here.
It is semi-incomplete thinking.
But I hope that what is here makes sense!
If it doesn’t then just stop reading and ask me in person (it is quite late)..
:)

Nelson Mandela
*************
Our deepest fear is not that we are
inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small
doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won t feel insecure
around you.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission
to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

The direction we were going was along these lines:
- If “inadequacy” is not what I fear, & being “powerful beyond measure” is; then what is “powerful beyond measure”?
- Assuming “inadequacy” comes from Satan, could I safely say that “powerful beyond measure” comes from the LORD?
- And assuming that “our light” is God & everything good, why do I fear that more than I fear “our darkness”; which I take to mean Satan & all that is not of God?

Why does our light frighten us the most & not our darkness? That doesn’t really make much sense. Shouldn’t the things inside us that are FAR from the character of God, scare us the most?!
As Christians we are constantly striving to be better, to be “more like Jesus”. In those actions we seem to be afraid of the darkness in us.
But here, Nelson claims that we are not afraid of that darkness.. he says that we are afraid of our light. We are frightened by our light.
If we are frightened by our light, why do we strive so much to be like Him (our Light?!)? … sit on that for a second.

- Why does our light frighten us the most & not our darkness?
- Why does Nelson say that my deepest fear is not inadequacy, but is in fact that I am powerful beyond measure?
- What does it mean to be “powerful beyond measure”?
- In what situations have I “shrank so that other people wouldn’t feel insecure around me”?
- If we were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us, why does God’s power scare us?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
….
Fear comes from Satan. It is not of the Lord. Yet still it has such a huge rule in our lives. In mine I have recognized a fear of inadequacy (which is the main reason this passage caught my attention!).
Inadequacy is something that I have experience with.
I feel inadequate in the ways that I relate with other people (will they like me, am I enough for them, am I needed by them; even more, am I wanted by them?) these are the questions that I ask myself in the midst of feeling inadequate.
Then I come across this passage & I am told that I do not fear that I am inadequate!? What?! Yes I do! I feel very inadequate & that scares me!
Oiy!... Well alright Nelson, what are you saying here???

[so I play into the game, even if for a second...]
So now [accepting that] I [do] fear that I am powerful beyond measure [and do not fear that I am inadequate]; I am just a tad confused…
Ok?! Well, power seems to be quite the opposite of inadequacy.
I immediately assume that someone who is powerful beyond measure would be confident!
But wait.. then I thought some more..
Powerful beyond measure.
Ok.. As humans we have a scale of power.
- We see people who own their own house – power
- We see people who own their own restaurant – more power
- Then there are the people who own their own company.. huge companies (Bill Gates status) – very powerful
The thing though is this. Each of these “stages of power” can be measured.. Bill gates, compared to the house owner is VERY POWERFUL!! But the statement “powerful beyond measure”. That doesn’t fit into this little scale that we as humans are familiar with. Powerful BEYOND measure”.
- What does that look like?
- Where on that scale is “beyond measure”??!
As I sit on the thought that “powerful beyond measure” is beyond my realm of thought… things start to fall into place for me.
I see that things outside of our scales, or realms of familiarity are in fact scary.
Measure is comfortable. It is something we know.
Beyond measure is uncomfortable. It is unfamiliar.
Inadequacy can be measured. There is a line that says whether something is good enough or not.
….
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
….
Nelson declares that this inadequacy; which we have experienced, which we can measure; is not what we fear.
We instead fear this power; it is new & beyond any power we have ever been able to measure. This power that most of us have never experienced.

This Power; that we were born with, is what we fear.
Despite the fact that it is good, we don’t know how it works; It is unfamiliar & scary.
Sitting in the fear of inadequacy is familiar, we know how to work through it, we know how to deal with it.
It is much more comfortable to sit in this familiarity of fear than it is stretch and experience this immeasurable power that the Lord has for us. That we were born to share with the world!!

Inadequacy is comfortable. It is something we know.
Beyond measure is uncomfortable. It is unfamiliar.
We don’t normally fear the familiar,
It is the unfamiliar that gets us shakin’ in our boots!

It is starting to make a bit more sense now.
Inadequacy is a lie. Once I see this I can call Satan out & surrender to God. I am still not comfortable with the unfamiliar, of the new; of this Power of God. But I no longer fear that I am inadequate. Because although I, Bree, AM inadequate. I have the Lord of the universe alive in me. Therefore, I am not inadequate. I am just not sure how to use this power that is beyond my realm of understanding.

”I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.” (john 14:12)

“Let’s abandon fear & step up to that call
Move on to something better
Live on for something better”
- dominic balli

Ok, I’m done for now… but there is so much more thought that I have for this…
:)