Kiddos!!

I have absolutely loved being able to spend my time working with the kids at both Fort Washington as well as at Fugman.  Learning to teach the children to handle conflict, hurt feelings, grief, anger, and excitement has been a challenge; but more than that it has been a delight!  I love that as I learn how to teach, they learn how to live.  God I ask that you bless these kids.  Even though I will be spending my time more at Fugman and not at Fort; I think it is for the better.  I ask that you place me well, and that these kids are able to grow into beautiful human beings; just as you made them.  Let me not get in the way of what you are doing in their lives; but instead let me encourage them as they grow.  I am excited to put aside the Mesa job and focus solely on the kids.  I am excited to be consistent with them, seeing them both morning and afternoon on a daily basis.  And I trust you to take care of the kids at Fort with out me!

Zero. Zip. Zilch.

I had no idea.

I had no idea what I had signed up for, simply by getting out of bed this morning.

I had no idea that I would be asked to dance while at work.

I had no idea that in offering my friend a ride home from school; I would be so deeply encouraged as she shared her life with me, that in her vulnerability and honesty I would witness healing. 

I had no idea that I could enjoy class more if I took the time to get to know my professor.

I had no idea that a spur of the moment In-N-Out run with my favorite sister would be so good and so necessary.

I had no idea that a hug could bring so much peace.

I had no idea that I was holding back and that honesty is the most freeing thing.

I had no idea that I would be so blessed with an abundance of free food.

I had no idea, but I am so glad.

So glad.

Thank you.

And that’s why you always stop to help people whose car has failed them!

So I’m driving home from River Park and I see a man pushing a vehicle along the right shoulder of the road.  I think to myself “Oh, I should help!  Uhh wait, he’s almost to the gas station, by the time I pull over to help I won’t even be needed.”  So I kept driving, I pass the first stoplight and I can’t stop thinking about it.  I pass the second stoplight and Jeff’s sermon pops into my mind and I now feel guilty for not stopping to help.  I realize I have nothing to gain by holding this regret all the way home; so I flip a U.  I get back to the spot where I saw said vehicle.  Nothing.  I drive around a nearby parking lot.  Nothing.  I look harder.  AHA!!  Found them!  I drive over, surveying the scene I realize that they are parked in a stall and that the gas station is closed.  Rolling down my window I ask the man, “Hey!  Are you the guy who was pushing his vehicle?!”  He replies with a chuckle and says “yes”.  I ask if I can help and he proceeds to explain that the problem actually can’t be fixed here, but that a tow truck is on its way.  However he makes sure to express his appreciation for my concern.  I brush it off as nothing, and realizing that I’m not gonna be of much help (just as I had predicted) I nod and say, “So, uh so then you guys are good.  Do you need to call anyone?  I mean… should I just go, or….” As I trail off the girl pops in; “Well, actually!  Would you like some free Starbucks food!?”  Caught completely off guard I furrow my brow and reply with, “Well, one can never refuse free food!?”  I get out of my car and walk over.  We make small talk she pulls out four breakfast sandwiches and a lunch wrap.  Giving me the small bundle of food, she looks at me with recognition; although I look familiar, we can’t place it.  After a couple seconds she too thanks me for my concern and as we say goodbye, her phone rings; their friends are on the way to help out.  I smile and thank her, she waves goodbye. 

And that was perty much it!  I didn’t get to help them, but I did get free food out of the deal.  It was an unexpectedly encouraging moment for me, and I got to giggle to myself all the way home.

New Book!

Title: The Christian Atheist
Author: Craig Groeschel
Why this book: We choose it for my LifeGroup!!
How much I've read: One chapter
Thoughts so far: Wowza, I know I needed encouragement.. I just wasn't expecting it here. 
Other thoughts: I really like Craig's writing style.  It's conversational, and convicting.. yet invites you to be honest with yourself.  I'm looking forward to more of it & will hopefully write again before I finish the book; we'll see though :)

Luke 6:45

In my recent blog browsing I came across this statement:

In a sense, you are what you read. That’s why I like sharing what I’m reading. It’s more than what’s going on inside my mind. It’s who I’m becoming.

That hit me so hard!! I always thought about how what you read/watch affects your thoughts and actions. But the way Mark Batterson said it, It's who I'm becoming... that really made me think!  So the books I choose, the movies I watch, the magazines I read.. those are what I am choosing to become!?

Think about it, and please share your thoughts with me if you have any!

windows and doors.

I’m in a dimly lit room.  No windows.  No doors. 

Sitting on the ground, I am content playing with my blocks. 

A few moments pass and I hear something, a slight draft hits me and I look up.  A man is there and a sliver of blue as tall as the room is revealed.

I’m slightly intrigued, but putting my head down I go on playing with my blocks.

As time goes by, the blue lightens and turns to pink, then a glowing orange.

I see the man now.

He is big.  Gentle and strong; he smiles at me. 

The sliver of orange gets larger as he opens the door. 

My eyes follow him as he moves past the doorway to a window and begins to open the curtain.  I am drawn to the beauty beyond.  I drop my blocks and scoot towards the window.  Outside I see a sight I have only before dreamed. 

The man invites me to stand.  I look into his eyes, and he directs my gaze to the room I am in.  I notice for the first time its depth. 

What I thought a cramped, dimly lit room has revealed to be a gorgeous library full of history, adventure, romance, and pain.  The smell is so rich, so familiar.  I am thrust into memories of long ago, and I begin to drown in the familiarity of it all.

The man calls me back towards himself.  I join him at the window.  Looking out the brightness is almost too much for me, but the beauty is so inviting. 

I hoist myself onto the sill, ready to jump through to the land beyond.  The man touches my arm.  His smile is comfortable and I realize that I want him.  I forget the room; I forget the unknown beauty of this world beyond.  The man has captivated me.

As I study him, he holds my gaze. 

We cross the room and I discover new things, at the same time remembering the old.  I realize that this room is my home.  When we reach the door I look out again.  Its beauty is as strong as the first time I saw it, but I look and see nothing I know. 

I begin to panic. 

I want so much to experience this beautiful world beyond. 

I see that the man has purposefully revealed it to me, but I don’t want to leave. 

I want to stay in this room forever.

He is here, the familiar is here.

I look up at the man with tears in my eyes.  Grateful of the land he has shown me, yet terrified at the thought of stepping into it.

He sees my tears and smirks, wiping them from my eyes. I understand that I am where I need to be; I am in this room, I am in his arms.

In revealing to me this new land I am seeing beauty.  The brightness has shown me that there is more to this room than what was being experienced.

 However, the door remains open, the window as well; their beauty a strong invite. But I am to stay with the man.  I want to stay with the man.

He tells me that he is not ready to leave the room yet.  There are more doors to open, more windows to reveal.  He invites me to get comfortable, to enjoy every bit of the room.

We will leave, but not yet; and definitely not separate.

When he is ready, he will take my hand and together we will venture into the lands beyond.  But until then I can explore the room in all its depth, looking out periodically to acquaint myself with the beauty that will someday be ours.